After you get through a heartbreak, you swear you are never ever going to fall in love again, hoping this decision will spare you the pain. In fact, time heals everything and soon the wounds won’t feel that deep anymore. Dating after heartbreak sort of changes though.
When Are Your Ready For Dating After Heartbreak?
Of course you don’t expect me to say “after 7 days and 5 hours” or “one year later”. It all depends on how long the relationship was, how many feelings you invested, how it ended and how each person copes with breakups.
There is no recipe or exact measurement when it comes to matters of the heart. But as I was explaining in a previous article about when you are really over someone, the depth of feelings and implication gives a different perspective of when you are ready to move on. Some go back in the game just as a cure, to forget the pain and to focus on something else. That’s perfectly understandable and equally wrong at the same time.
It’s a great way to move on, but you are certain the next date will not lead to a relationship because you are not looking for anything serious. You are not exactly back on the market because in your mind you still hold on to hope to get back with the one that broke you.
I don’t qualify that as dating, it’s rather a passing time activity and it can only lead to one night stands or hurting the other person. It happens without your intention, but just accepting to go on a date for the selfish reason of not staying at home by yourself on a Saturday night can be deceiving. Be honest and don’t go around playing with people’s feelings because you know best what that feels like.
What Happens When You Truly Start Dating After Heartbreak
So you moved on. You are over the person who broke your heart. You think about them and there is no more pain. You feel ready to go back in the game. So you put yourself out there.
However, with each heartbreak you go through change. You change the way you see dates and you change your expectations and your standards for the new potential candidate to a place on your priority list. You no longer accept when a date ends badly.
You build back up all the walls that you let down and got you hurt. You play the ice queen and avoid to open up to other people. You no longer want to be hurt again and you try to protect yourself. Maybe you try online dating, maybe you accept blind dates fixed by friends.
You start making comparisons and that makes it worst but it inevitably happens. You end up labeling all the following dates based on the most recent experience. You know that being compared to the ex doesn’t help anyone but your mind does it without control.
No matter what you say and what your fears are, by dating after heartbreak you just admit that you might fall in love again, you might get hurt again, but you know that you will get fixed and that you are strong enough to go through whatever comes.