Every story has a beginning and an end. This is how it works. Is the need of closure a true requirement of all situations?
Let’s think about the movies we watch or the books we read. The plot twists are usually solved by the end of the movie and the characters are free to live happily ever after. This is the kind of open ending I personally don’t agree with. What happens after they kiss? What happens after they get married at the end of the movie? Open endings leave plenty of room for interpretations and imagination can either put the main characters in a happy place or see them breaking up in a sequel of the movie.
Real life leaves even more space for interpretation. People are usually scared of ending relationships or projects if they don’t know what comes after. But the best way of moving on from one chapter to another in your life is to close the previous before starting a new one. This is the need of closure.
The need of closure in relationships
Personally, I was never a fan of “what if” and “let’s see”. I prefer being straightforward and cut it to the chase. Instead of consuming time wondering “what if he likes me back?”, I prefer confessing feelings and hearing what the other side has to say about that. Assumption is the mother of all fuckups. Don’t assume, but confront. If you need to know, go and find out.
When it comes to closing relationships, I always need to give or receive reasons, arguments, explanations. Most of the people find it hard to talk about feelings and it’s inevitable to be “ghosted” by the ones who are too chicken to confront the truth. From my perspective, the need of closure is just natural in order to move on. If you keep wondering “what if he or she comes back to me”, this will keep you from being able to move on. The need of closure is healthy and it spares you the false hopes.
The need of closure makes me reject the idea of taking a break in a couple. It’s just an excuse to not being able to break up and finding an easy way out, preparing both the parties for the grand exit. Taking time off leaves a door open, but it makes it easier for both parties to get used to the idea of not seeing each other. The need of closure is supposed to cut down the pain and avoid assumptions. The need of closure is a must in order to get to the next stage.
The need of closure in work
Never ending projects are no fun. You just get tired and bored of working for the same thing that seems to be stuck and not evolve. The same goes for a job that makes you unhappy. In order to move on, the need of closure forces you to take a healthy decision. Give up your job, wrap up the project, move on.
If you want to hunt for your dream job or want to start your own business, you need to cut loose all the other strings that keep you attached to a routine lifestyle. You know you can do better, the need of closure is only forcing you to decide it’s time to fulfill your dream. If you want to move to a new country and start a new life, the need of closure forces you to make all kinds of decisions that eventually will set you free. You need to do all that in order to stop wondering “what if I was better off standing in the same place?”.
In both personal and professional life, the need of closure puts an order in your life events and gets you ready for whatever comes next. Life is full of opportunities, you just need to open yourself and that only happens if you close the previous chapters that leave room for expectations.