Self dating can seem selfish for some or desperate for others. I say it’s normal. It’s independent, empowering and you can actually enjoy yourself.
Being single in one of the most amazing cities on the planet makes it less difficult to bear the solitude. In fact, you sometimes find yourself being thankful for not having to plan your time around someone else’s needs. While I was struggling to make plans for last Saturday night, I decided I don’t have to stay at home just because I don’t have someone to share my weekend with, so I took myself out on a date.
Self Dating: A Way To Fight Solitude
I am sure you have already read thousands of articles about how it is important to love yourself first in order for others to love you. You know the mechanics, I’m just here to confirm it f*cking works.
Why miss out on so many beautiful experiences just because you need someone to hold your hand? It’s not comfortable and it’s not pleasant all the time to be by yourself, but hey, what can we do? Deal with it and instead of filling yourself with self-pity, move to self love.
Self dating on a Saturday night can be painful if you see the downside, but on the bright side of things, when you are single your plans can be: (1) question all your friends and beg them to go out, (2) go on dates with people you are not attracted to just for a selfish reason of not being stuck at home by yourself or (3) go on a single date.
Self Dating Saves You The Trouble
Instead of getting involved in other people’s plans, you can make your own plans for a date night. For instance, when I read about a concert of the Notting Hill Orchestra For Film, I couldn’t think of someone who would be available on such short notice and would enjoy this as much as I would, so I just booked myself a ticket and decided I wasn’t going to miss it just because I don’t have someone to share it with.
I surprised myself preparing just like before a real date, make-up, hair, clothes, I even wore high heels, after all it was Saturday night, so why not?! And on my way to the venue I just had the biggest revelation: this is not my first date with myself!
In fact, I realized I have been on numerous dates with myself without even knowing. The fact that I don’t mind going for lunch to a restaurant by myself, or enjoying a fancy dinner with the best wine at home makes it obvious that I am comfortable with it.
Self Dating: Healthy For Self Esteem
I don’t want it to sound cocky, but I don’t know too many women who would be able to do this. Truly independent women are the ones who can have enough self esteem to enjoy their own company.
If you are scared of being alone, you will inevitably end up in wrong relationships one after the other and your expectations will forever be lowered just because you want someone in your life all the time.
Don’t get me wrong, solitude is not comfortable for anyone, but you can’t keep drowning in self pity. You have to find a way to make it work. So what happened when I took myself out on a date? Nothing happened. No one pointed their fingers at me, the sky didn’t fall and the orchestra didn’t stop their performance to make me get out of the venue because I wasn’t there with a plus one. What did happen was that I had fun. And I became emotional when the orchestra started playing my favourite piano songs “Valse d’Amelie”.